5 Things I've Learned About Marriage
He's a realistic romantic and I'm a hopeless romantic. He says too little and I say too much. He's calm and patient while I'm stubborn and anxious. He's fancy dinner, movies and brownies. I'm unplanned adventure and ice-cream. Methodical vs free spirit. Outdoors vs air conditioning. Crunchy peanut butter vs smooth. Low-key, intimate gatherings vs over-the-top parties. Soft pillows vs firm pillows. His love language is physical contact and I like my personal space. The list goes on and on. We sound like the perfect match, don't we?
I think the reason I was drawn to him in the beginning was because we had the same core values, but I also loved all the ways he was different from me (let's be honest, I could never be married to someone who's as stubborn and bossy as I am). It was like finding someone that was who I wanted to be, and he found someone who added a little spontaneity to his life.
Marrying someone a little different than me has allowed my life to become more whole. His strengths help make up for my weaknesses and vice versa. There are plenty of things we do to annoy each other, but it's okay! We've learned to adjust our tolerance levels and focus on things we can change within ourselves.
We've come a long way together. Life has given us grand adventures + thrown us curveballs and life lessons. I don't know a lot, but here are 5 things I've learned so far:
1. I'm Not Really That Great To Be Married To
I heard once that marriage is like looking in a mirror. I can confirm this is true. I'd like to think I am the bomb diggity and Lew lucked out in scoring a wife like me but when I take the time to study my reflection, I see a woman with a ton of imperfections. And imperfect people trying to love can be pretty messy. Say sorry, forgive and communicate.
2. Ice-Cream Cures Most Arguments
Especially Haagan Dazs.
3. Be Goofy Together, No Matter The Hour
Last night is the perfect example of this. We couldn't stop laughing as we got into bed. I think we were both delirious from lack of sleep last weekend, but whatever the case everything was h i l a r i o u s!! Take the time to laugh. It's good for your marriage.
4. Have A Servant's Heart
When I put Lew's needs above my own and do it with the right motivation, I'm honoring God's plan for our marriage. I try to remember to use my strengths and abilities to support and serve Lew + the boys daily. The days I do my best to serve (which sometimes means sacrificing my own wants and desires) are the days I end up feeling the most joy and fulfillment. Because life really does have more meaning when your focus is on someone's happiness other than your own.
5. Everyone Deserves Love
And indiscriminate of shape or form--It could be a brother, sister, mother, child, best friend, lover or soul mate. But one who doesn't leave. One who chooses to love you and to believe in you come what may. You are deserving of having someone completely head over heels in love with you. Wait for it. Work on it. And don't give up on finding it. There is nothing more worth it in this world and you are meant to feel it.